Dear Diary So Guess Who Has Two Thumbs and Has HIGH Inflammation...

This lady!  I really fell off the wagon after my daughter's birth.  She was born three weeks early and well you are never prepared even if you think you are prepared you are not when you have your first child.  So strike one.  My husband was commuting from Atlanta to Chicago and so he only came on weekends.  Strike two.  Also we were in the middle of moving to Chicago but waiting until after my daughter's first vaccination (Yes I do vaccinate my baby and please do not go all Jenny McCarthy on me okay, Autism is a serious condition that is something that cannot be attributed to one thing and it is a serious disservice to parents of autistic children to simplify it in the manner that crazy lady does, okay I am done.)  Strike three!  And food was my savior.  What can I say food is always there for me and never hurts me or so I thought.

Dear Diary remember when I had a blog!

Yeah me too.  I have been neglectful of this blog and maybe because times are changing and people don't write on blogs anymore.  There are these things called The Tumblr and The Twitter.  Actually I have not been writing because I have had a whirlwind of changes occurring in my life.  YES A WHIRLWIND!  I have experienced so much change in these past five years that normally people experience this in decades, DECADES!  Let's see first I started this blog after my father passed away and then two years after that we moved to Atlanta.  THENNNNNNN we got pregnant and then one month before I was due my husband got a job in Chicago.  So we moved AGAIN when our Turtle was 2 months old.  Let me tell you moving with a newborn, DO NOT RECOMMEND IT!
So now after ten years of not posting on here (seems like it has been ten years) I am finally settling down and ready to post.  I tried once before while playing with my daughter and typing a post on my cellphone and FAIL.  I erased it with my big fat fingers.  I had intentions of introducing you guys to her but then it got erased.   We call her Turtle because she likes to shrink up like a turtle in a shell.  It is really cute, her aunt gave her that nickname.  
 Anyways what I am trying to say is I am back.  I have been gone and not living a healthy lifestyle at all.  I am calling myself out.  I went to the doctor in December BAD NEWS BEARS and I gained all the weight I lost in Atlanta in less then a year!  So to my two readers I will be sharing once again my trials and tribulations of learning how to live healthy and shed fat.  Yeah shedding this FAT.  So I wanted to let you guys know I have changed my outlook on what types of foods I need to eat BIG TIME.  For instance did you know Leaf lard is better to cook with then any vegetable oil.  Your body can process it in moderation.  I am not saying go enjoy that deep fried chicken with some battered fries but seriously people that cook with lard have more healthy benefits!  MIND BLOWN!  Also cooking with grass fed butter and eating grass fed beef.  Dudes seriously all the things we grew up thinking that were bad are good. Next up CRACK IS NOT WHACK, I kid I think it still is bad for your brain until we see that Dr. Oz episode that says crack is misunderstood and we need it to function.  So just like the Terminator promised...I did come back!

Dear Diary So we had a baby....

Well I gotta story to tell and my two readers probably already know but yes, we had a baby.  The story is unbelievable and crazy on how we ended up with a little lady who has a big personality.  So be patient with me soon enough I will post the story with the hilarious timeline.

Dear Diary Junk Food is addictive!!!!!!!!!

I know! I know!  No duh Captain Obvious junk food is addictive.  Well did you know that men in black suits spend years of research to make sure it is addictive and you keep buying more.  WHAT MIND IS BLOWN!!!!!!!!  I know this sounds like I am a conspiracy theorist that finds good company with others that believe in area 51 and that Elvis and Tupac live on an island cranking out hits from the "after life."  Here is where I am coming from, I started this blog to chronicle my life "struggles" to be healthy and bring awareness to PCOS.  Well I was lost and went off path thanks to Holidays and Fatcations (vacations where you gain 10 lbs just by shoving pounds of food down your gullet).  I found my way thanks to my recent diagnosis of hey you need to watch what you eat lady you are borderline going to get diabetes for the rest of your life!!!!!!!!!!!!  Sounds dramatic but it is true.  If I don't get back to this I will risk having diabetes before I am forty years old.  Not cool. Not cool.  

So as yours truly was reading in bed with her huzzband and as I was reading the latest celebrity gossip (HEY real news makes me sad), he was reading a New York Times article about junk food.  He seemed engrossed in the article and was dumbfounded yet not surprised by the articles findings.  I was like meh I am busy reading about Duchess Kate and her baby bump watch mmmkay.  So I left it at that. 

Fast forward to a week later and I stumble on a Huffington Post blog written by a doctor that stated a calorie is not a calorie.  I said hmmm I gots to read this.  Well as soon as I read it it linked to another article which linked to another article which then linked to the New York Times article.  DURRRNIT Foiled again so I guess this was a sign for me to read the article.  Well folks I read it and man this stuff is as bad as reading about cigarette companies trying to appeal to teens to get them to smoke!!!!!!!!!!  I mean they package their food in colorful sugary packages and it appeals to kids!  No wonder we have one of the highest obesity rates in our children!  I read about the man who invented lunchables and how UNHEALTHY they are and now he educated people on healthy whole foods nutrition.  CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!  Side note I never liked lunchables just the crackers.  My mom got them once for me because it was tiny lunch meant and tiny cheese and crackers and it was gross.  I was fortunate that my mom rarely gave into my junk food demands when I was younger.  Now my dad well that is another story heh heh heh heh.  The man knew I loved chocolate Moon Pies and RC cola.  (You can really tell I grew up below the Mason Dixon line from that sentence.)  Anyways you need to read the following articles: New York Times, The Extraordinary Science of Addictive Junk Food and The Huffington Post, Still believe "A Calorie Is a Calorie?"

Reading these articles made me realize why we complain about how hard it is to lose weight.  Yeah when your economical food choices that are widely available are just basically a box of sugar in disguise no wonder your fat jeans are now your skinny jeans!  I wish they would research and write about obesity and poverty.  There is a serious correlation there.  I recall grocery shopping in an area of Houston that was located in a economically challenged area and there was some fresh food choices some but a plethora of giant aisles filled with processed foods.  Hello heart disease and diabetes.  The area was predominantly Hispanic and it saddened me that families would grab two bananas but boxes and boxes of Pop Tarts and Popsicles and you name it they had that sugary treat in their cart.  No wonder they state that some children do not know what some vegetables and fruits look like.  Well anyways this is my soap box post and I think it is time to get informed on what we are eating and how it affects us.  As I have found my way back to the healthy promise land I make sure I move everyday and eat food that is food.  I am even getting better at not ingesting processed sugars! (Although you cannot really avoid sugar it is in EVERYTHING look at the packages y'all) Huzzah!  I have too.  I gotta think about my health and future child(ren)'s health.  I want my family to make choices that are good for them.  I know we cannot avoid junk food because it is there and by God or god (Big G or little g?) I grew up on it and dangit sometimes you want that milkshake from Fast Food USA that is filled with antifreeze and corn syrup and you cannot help it!!! But at least I will know what is going in my body and so will my family.  

Dear Diary WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!!!!

Updates Updates Updates.....

Well so much is happening to this lady:


1.  First of all I resolve to be better at posting on this little blog.

2.  I also resolve to actually practice what I preach.

3.  I didn't have internet for two weeks and I know that is know excuse but it really sucked.
(FYI it takes an act of god to get Comcast to install your cable or a husband that pretty much connected the cable himself since the technicianS that came were unable to do so!  Long story there but no matter we got it now!)

4.  Oh yeah we moved!  We are still in Atlanta but different address.  Well it happens when you rent a house and the housing market is hot hot hot (at least in the area we rented in).  Yup the owners of said house decided to sell, so yours truly moved!  Also we live near a DUNKIN DONUTS!!!!

I met the lady who actually baked the donuts for the commercial BOOM!

5.  I am still trying to bust the sugars (but failed miserably today since I live near DUNKIN DONUTS!!)

6.  I have plenty of posts I am excited about, recipes, how to plan meals, exorcise stories!!

7.  Last but not least we are busy trying to get the new place situated so forgive me for about a couple of weeks if I don't do number 1 so much.  Shhhhhhhhh

Dear Diary I am thankful for my tight pants....and Christmas!

Well Thanksgiving has come and gone and now we are getting ready for Christmas (according to Target Christmas started in August).  So raise your hand if you ate your weight in turkey, stuffing and all the sides.  *Raises Hand!*  Yeah me too.  I try to have some constraint but it is so hard when food is so delicious.   CURSES FOOD WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DELICIOUS!  I pretty much gave myself a pass Thanksgiving week.  I attempted to make a sad looking pecan pie but dang it tasted so good.  My crust still looks horrendous and I even went to a cooking class!  Remember how I said no sugar well that went bust last week.  I ate nothing but sugar.  It is freaking hard so I decided to limit my intake of sugar of once a week (very little like a taste).  I cannot deny myself yet.  I read an article that trying to give up sugar completely is like going cold turkey on heroin.  *Picture Ewan McGregor going through detox in Trainspotting even with the creepy baby on the ceiling*

Yeah it is like that. So I am going to go easy on myself.  Still avoiding white things, like PROCESSED SUGARS (maybe once a week), PROCESSED WHITE BREADS, PROCESSED WHITE PASTA, PROCESSED WHITE RICE, WHITE POTATOES, etc. Anyways here is what is going on in my  Fatty Mcbutterpants life:

1.  Ate like a fat fool for Thanksgiving TWICE.  I had two Thanksgivings thanks to very nice amazeballs friends inviting us over for dinner and we had Thanksgiving on Saturday since Jonathan had to work that Thursday.

2. Back to eating healthy food.

3.  Threw away junk food I bought with my mom, imagine that I bought Hostess powdered sugar donuts, marshmallows and crap.

4.  Walking more this week and going back to Yoga ( I have not gone in a while YIKES!)

5. Oh yes I am very thankful my mom was here for Thanksgiving and made that delicious Tex Mex for us and now I know why I had gained so much weight after college.  DAMN YOU DELICIOUS TACOS AND ENCHILADAS!

6.  Be on the lookout for a new challenge soon!

I hope everyone really had a great Thanksgiving and you were able to spend time with family.  Also it is Christmas time so don't pig out too much on baked goods.  Okay well just a taste....

Just a taste y'all!

Dear Blog Suga bustin and other updates...

ACL was awesome but I am too old.

Hey there Ho there bleaders or roggers, what is a good combo word for blog readers?? Anyways I am here to announce my November Challenge and update you on what is going down with Delena.  Hmm where to begin, where to begin....Oh so I have had a full two months of visiting family and even squeezed in a little known music festival by the name of AUSTIN CITY LIMITS.  I went to the doctor.  I was happy with some results and other results not so happy, like my triglycerides are still high but working on that, FREAKING OBESITY!  My hormone levels seem to be balancing out thanks to crap I will admit it EXORCISING AND A HEALTHY DIET.  Yeah amazingly enough if you don't eat crap and move around your body starts to heal itself.  WHO WOULD HAVE THUNK IT???  I am also working on my mental health, yeah it is very important because as I have repeated time and time again yours truly is an emotional eater.  Yeah this lady likes to get some eatin done when her emotions are all over the place.  Now however I am beginning to think about it before I mindlessly munch on Pirate's Booty (a "healthier" version of Cheetos).  Actually Pirate's Booty isn't so bad it only has 6 ingredients unlike Cheetos with probably has okay damn I just counted 21 ingredients!!  So yeah processed junk foods out and whole foods in.  Something I laughed about in my youth or never even heard of actually.  Yeah case in point last night I made homemade mac and cheese with breaded pork chops.  I used real cheese and whole wheat pasta and made the bread crumbs myself out of day old bread.  I told Jonathan my mom made the same meal but with Velveeta Shells and Cheese and Shake'n Bake for the pork chops.  (insert Cal Naught, Jr. and Ricky Bobby quotes here).  Well I know that wasn't the healthiest meal I made but I made it all, I didn't open a box and dump.  That right there my friend is why we are fat and Europeans are not.  They don't have as much processed foods as we do.  Anyways so that brings me back to another point, SUGARS!

Dear Diary September Challenge part deux

Well this is the second week of the September Challenge and so far so good.  I have not thrown in the towel and WILL NOT THROW IN THE TOWEL.  My close friends know this is a quite a feet for yours truly since I am pretty lazy and have adult A.D.D.  Well we are keeping up with walking everyday for at least 45 minutes.  I need to work out more.  Oh man we did sprints and circuit training in the park, KICKED MY A**.  I am still having a hard time just sitting on the toilet.  Yeah squats kill me every time, especially when your husband corrects your form and then you go "Oh dang I have been doing them wrong for years because now I feel it."

Also, I have planned meals and made better decisions eating out.  We went out to eat on Friday but I had one beer, count it one beer.  On Tuesday, Jonathan and I split a beer and shared peanuts with our friends at the Braves game.  Yeah this is a big deal okay, I am normally the one with nachos cheesed up to high heaven and piled with jalapenos with a big bucket of popcorn and my gallon size cup of Coke Zero (because some how Coke Zero makes up for the other food items, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight).  Then I steal away during the seventh inning stretch to get ice cream in a helmet with toppings galore (why yes I will have some more crushed Oreo!).  Yeah but I controlled myself by eating beforehand -a healthy meal consisting of roasted chicken breast with vegetables-which eased my need to eat like a fat man at an eating contest.  Go me! And Jonathan of course. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that our friends at said game were also trying to refrain from making unhealthy choices too.  OF COURSE THAT MADE IT WAY EASIER TO STICK TO OUR CHALLENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yeah you know what I mean when you try to make healthy choices and the people you are hanging out with make it harder by eating all these delicious fatty fat foods in your face and you are practically about to knock a B over to get to those chicken wings she is dangling in front of you.  So it really helps when people surrounding you are also trying to be healthy. Which brings me to my friends-the gals- that support me and themselves with our challenge.

It's the Bravos!!!

Yes, the gals.  We have been friends since we were all 18 and we went to college together.  We even roomed together in one way or another.  So you know we are close.  Hellur if you know someone that has seen you passed out on a toilet and was kind enough to make sure you are not dead then you know you have a friend for life!  POR VIDA!  Am I right y'all?  Shut up I am classy now!  I make sure that if I do pass out that is on a couch with a waste basket nearby.  Anyways we are close, we text each other motivational cheers -we use GroupMe, an awesome group text app -and also vent.  Because it helps to say "You know what guys, I am sucking today on the challenge" and we respond "That is okay lady you got this tomorrow or the next day, we are here for you!"  Seriously it helps when you have a group of close friends motivating one another to keep up with your goals.  It also helps that your partner or "roomie for life" as Jonathan puts it is also supporting you so that way when you are at home you won't be tempted.  It is really hard y'all when your "roomie for life" stuffs chocolate ice cream in his face while you are trying to pretend to be happy eating low fat ricotta cheese sprinkled with cocoa powder and a little bit of honey as a dessert (seriously it is good dudes).  But I wanted to update you that I am sticking with this challenge and next post will include meal planning tips and some healthy meals I have discovered.  Also, unlike me most of you have jobs well I decided to post some findings on things you can do at work so you won't be so sedentary.  Seriously I gained ahem 60 lbs when I started working an office job.  So you know what I mean.  Well I hope this post motivates you to keep doing what you are doing that is healthy or not whatever. And now to be all Dora the Explorer in my blog:  What healthy tips to you have for when you go out with friends and maybe it is for a meal or a sporting event?  What did you say, that's right, isn't that right Boots?!  Okay clearly I have too many friends with kids.

Look at Swiper, F you Swiper you are nothing but trouble, Can you say F you?

Dear Diary Oh Yeah September Challenges!!!!!

So I have entered some challenges with my husband and my friends for the month of September.  The challenge with my husband will probably continue after September.  So here it is 10:00 pm and I am planning meals for the week.  I have my magazines out-yeah I am old no websites for me- and I searched for some meals and blammo I am done.  I know some of you are like "Delena who has time to plan meals, I don't!!!"  Well if you google Meal Planning boom you get a plethora of free apps for your computer and phone.  Look at that this is why people have smart phones because we like to do millions of things we don't have time to just sit down and do it for ourselves.  Calling on my two readers, do you have any meal planning apps you love or recommend?

I am old and I like to flip through pages

Anyways here is what I plan on doing with my friends:

1. 30 minutes of physical activity at least 5 times a week
2. Eat out only twice a week
3. Drink alcohol moderately twice a week

Challenge with my husband see below: I am hardcore because I want to win this challenge against my husband and it helps when you have friends doing a modified version to be your support!!!
Boom our latest gentlemen's agreement:

Oh it is on like Donkey Kong Jonathan!

Oh yeah and the prize for said September Challenges is oh guess what not having my foot amputated or getting heart disease!  In other words the prize is getting healthy and making healthy decisions.

P.S. Yes I noted the irony of me saying how much I love magazines because I love pages and print and the picture I took shows a magazine that printed on the cover "Ipad subscriptions are now available." Oh hilarious and Alanis please take note this is irony okay irony is NOT rain on your wedding day okay please just stop, just stop shhhhh *places index finger over mouth*

Dear Diary Happy Birthday to Me!!!

I am 33 and that is all I want to say! No not really. So be thinking of me while you go on with your day because it is my birthday.  Anyways I will be enjoying the day with my husband and my dog and maybe Blondie.  Okay today is a calorie free day y'all because I said so!!!!!

Thank you Farmer Ted for making it happen.....

Dear Diary Mmmmm Candy Bars and Filet Mignon.....

So as you know there is a drought going on and there are shortages of corn everywhere.  Well corn is in everything including beef.  How so you might ask?  Well in the feed the ingredients include corn.  So what are farmers going to do when corn gets too expensive and the feed becomes too expensive to buy.  What to do WHAT TO DO????  Oh wait a second FEED THEM CANDY!  Apparently they consulted with Willy Wonka and he developed a new feed for cows which involves candy corn and snozberries.  You may think this is a joke but it is not.  Seriously they are supplementing nutrition for cows with candy.  Candy that is unfit for consumption for humans but it is okay for cows.  Awesome and we eat those cows.  So next time you cut into your Ribeye or T-bone steak and see a candy coated shell, it is okay because at least you know it will melt in your mouth and not in your hand.

Gene W- ahem Willy Wonka 

Check out the link below:

Candy Cows and Oompa Loompas

Dear Diary When did I Become a Dirty Hippy

I am back after a mini vacation to Houston, Texas, where there are plenty of restaurants and obese people (the effect of having a multitude of restaurants).  Every time I go to Houston I come back a little wiser and a little fatter.  I started off my trip with a SECOND dinner at Mai's and ate too much tofu.  You are probably thinking tofu is not so bad, yes it is when it is deep fried and then is stir fried in butter with garlic.  Then to top it off I had a cosmopolitan, the drink that Carrie Bradshaw made famous.  Did I log in my points? Noooooooooooooooooooo.  I just ate and imbibed on alcohol.  Also it is hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle when you come to your mom's house and the pantry is loaded with this:

Look at Mr. Pringles he is staring at me saying you know you want this!

Dear Diary I'm not moving to Austin and other updates...

I like to keep my two blog readers informed about what is "going down" in my life.  As you both know I am still unemployed and that is fine.  When we do move into a dumpster, I may not be able to update this blog as much as I would like too.  Oh wait the library does have computers so there is hope!  Okay well here is what is going on in my life:

I bought awesome T-shirts for myself and my husband look below:

Nope not doing it!

UPDATE!!! Click here for more info on this magnificent shirt.

I joined a yoga studio and I am learning how to balance all seven chakras.  That is a hilarious blog post waiting to happen.  Let's just say fatty not so flexible but I am sticking with it! If Arthur can do it I can do it:

I did a sugar fast with a friend well not really but it was a "I am going to refuse dessert" fast but I succumbed to peer pressure most of the time.  Well some of the time.

Do you know how hard it was to say no?!

I went to three farmer's markets last week and realized wow they have awesome selections and it is DAMN EXPENSIVE but it is okay because getting the case of the "sugars" is more expensive in the long run.

Seriously these tomaters look good.

I realized that maybe two people reading my blog is a gross overestimate, it's probably just my mom.  Hi Mom!

See my mom has always supported me!

I am also going to work on informing my one reader (hello again mom) about Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) more in this blog because it is something that has been around, according to researchers, for over 2,000 years and doctors are just beginning to diagnose more and more women with it.

PCOS is serious y'all

Also we got new neighbors.  Pollie is very unhappy with this and she makes it known every time they go onto their back porch and grill.

"Yeah I am giving you the stink eye"

I am reading this and realizing man my life is boring but that is fine because I have had drama for the past two years and I am good with just a peaceful life.

Beaches make me happy and sane.

Last but not least, my grammar is atrocious but thanks to The Oatmeal for helping me out.  

Dear Diary bathing suits will not make me feel bad anymore!

Sandcastles in the sand- Robin Sparkles

Warning this post is going to be semi-serious with a dash of (insert any women's talk show).  I went to the beach this week.  I had to wear a bathing suit *GASP*.  I have loathed wearing one since I saw my first dimple of cellulite, yeah I got it so what?!  Then something happened, I don't know if it is because I am 30 plus or what.  I was like who cares how I look in my tankini it is hot outside and I need to wear the proper attire to take a plunge into that large salty watering hole that some call the Atlantic Ocean.  I didn't care and I was okay with it.  I am overweight, I am fat.  I will own that word.  I have cellulite, I got grandma bat arms, I have double (sometimes triple) chins, and I have stacked tire belly syndrome (aka the Michelin Man).  I am me.  I love me.  All of me, the fat me, the emotional me, the crazy me, the silly me, the hilarious me, the angry me, the defeated me, and I could go on...Wait now I remember how this all started!!!

A dear dear cousin of mine emailed me a link to a lecture about Vulnerability (capitalized the word for emphasis people!).  I found the lecture entertaining and enlightening all at the same time.  All it was, was a woman on a stage with her power point slides.  No frills, no explosions, no fancy robot dragons or horrible rock bands playing in the back ground.  It was just Brene Brown, PhD, a University of Houston professor, speaking about her qualitative research about why certain people are courageous and fearless and others are not.  I don't want to ruin the lecture for you because I have the video posted for you.  In fact I am going to post two videos.  The other one is about listening to shame.  She is brilliant and insightful.  Her words spoke to me and yes I know I sound very cliche like a  person who wrote a blurb that is printed on the back of an Airport Bestseller Book!  I know!  Hey but this is how I feel.  I feel like in order to be a better person you have to not only love all of yourself but you have to feel all the your emotions.  We live in a society where you have to numb yourself to the pain or else you will be considered a pansy or that crazy woman who can't seem to stop crying!  That is not true sometimes you have to let yourself feel it in order to move forward and be stronger.   Anyways watch these videos and tell me how they struck you whether it was meh she is just another self help guru like that really really really tall guy (Tony Robbins by the way and did you see he got people to walk on hot coals and they did it!!!!) or wow she is awesome and she made me realize things about myself.

Vulnerability!

Listening to Shame Y'all

Update NOW VIDEO WITH ROBIN SPARKLES!!!!! Because it is an awesome song!

Dear Diary Marathon What Diet?! and Fat Reality.

Wouldn't you work out if this came to your front door?

So my sister-in-law emails me a story about a 500 plus pound woman who plans on losing more weight by having marathon sex with her ex-husband.  Yes sex is a physical activity and yes it is good cardio and probably muscular toning depending on the position(s) ugh okay I have to stop now.  Y'all know I wrote this blog to chronicle my life as I journey towards a healthier lifestyle.  I report on my new types of eating habits, workout habits, meditation etc.  I promise you I will not be reporting on this if I ever and it will be never decide to do this.  The lady weighs a bazillion pounds and I bet her ex-husband is some little tiny dude, THEY ALWAYS ARE, and ugh must not vomit.  Okay yes good for her trying to lose weight, she is currently the fattest woman in the world or the U.S. hold up -googling it-okay yup fattest women in the world at 643 lbs.  When did we start celebrating this again?  Congratulations you weigh as much as a normal size family of 4 with grown adult children.  Let's give you an award and worldwide recognition.  I just don't get it.  Where is my award for being obese?  Oh wait I am not fat enough.

Dear Diary Stuffing My Face Full of Food

Sex Panther rawrrr

is no longer an option.  Here is an eye-opening proclamation, I use food as a coping mechanism.  For those two readers who read my long a** entry that was pretty much soul bearing and crap, well you know that I am struggling with depression or actually conquering depression now.  Old Delena immediately would use food to cope with everything. And I mean ev-ery-thing.
"Oh I am sad" *stuffs pizza slices in mouth*
"Oh I am angry"*stuffs cupcakes in mouth*
"Oh I am happy!" *stuffs potato chips in mouth*
"Oh I am bored" *stuffs cheese cubes in mouth*
I recently started watching the tv show Girls on HBO, yeah I know I had bad mouthed it but after a couple of episodes it is actually funny.  There is an episode where the main character goes back home or should I say the home she grew up in.  She was acting out and her mom immediately said "Are you hungry, there is chicken in the fridge."  Main character yells at her mom "I am not HUNGRY"  Then it immediately cuts to her later that night raiding the fridge (fat man at a buffet style) and I knew how she felt.  I laughed so hard at that scene and then I went silent.  In my mind I thought "Oh crap I do the same thing when I go home and visit my mom."  It never fails I go visit my mom who has a plethora of snacks (not the healthy variety) and I attack them.  Seriously those Pringles don't know what hit them because Delena "wrecks shop" on some Pringles.  My mom bless her heart she tells me to not give into the temptation because she wants to keep me going on my goal but you know it is hard when you are wired to regress to your old childhood habits and just eat, EAT, EAT, EAT, and EAT!  I was talking to one of my dearest friends this weekend and we both realized that how we were raised and our culture really affects our relationship with food.  Seriously I don't know how other cultures our with food but I know mine, Tex Mex culture.  I am what you would say Hispanic which most Hispanics hate because a) Politicians came up with the name and b) you cannot lump us into one ethnicity because we are many different cultures.  Well I am Tex Mex, I am of Mexican descent that is probably 4th or 5th generation Texan.

If you go to Mexico most people are very fit and healthy and tiny.  Now if you go to Kingsville, Texas and see Texicans yeah we are FAZAAAAAAAAAAAAT.  Some are skinny but most are fat.  Hispanics have a high rate of diabetes and heart disease.  I, my friend, am not immune from getting said diseases.  My maternal grandfather and my father had heart disease and diabetes.  My paternal grandmother and my mother had/have diabetes.  Worse my maternal grandmother passed away from ovarian cancer.  Studies are coming out that being overweight worsens not only the possibility of getting diabetes and heart disease but also the big C, cancer.  My paternal grandfather was healthy and was pretty much a vegetarian, he passed away at 85 of leukemia but he was super healthy before that.  Back to my point.  My friend we will call her Sex Panther, yeah she and I were saying aloud how our family was unhealthy.  We recounted how family pushes food on you all the time, that is how we roll us Texicans.  Then at the same time they comment on how you are a gorda (tr. fatty) or flaca(tr. skinny).  Seriously you are either too fat or too skinny but here eat this pan dulce.  I know my mom will read this and get mad or say "Mija did I do that, I don't remember I was too young"  Yeah you did mom but that was how you were raised.  All my family did that.  I was not one of those kids that didn't eat.  Hello I normally could put away three plates of carne guisada with rice and beans and a copious amounts of homemade tortillas or pan de campo.  Can I get an amen from my fellow Texans that can do this!?  Yeah I am not proud but yet I am.  I love good Tex Mex food.  Hey one positive moving to Atlanta you can't get good Tex Mex and so that temptation is gone.  Except now I forced myself to make tortillas from scratch, ha but they are whole wheat ones and damn good.

After this self discovery of my coping mechanisms, I realized I need to do positive things to cope: go for a walk, walk my dog, practice yoga, practice meditation, or my favorite craft and sew!  None of those activities involves stuffing my face full of food.  Well I am trying these and so far so good.  I have also cut down the portion size of our dinners too.  Again raised Texican, we had HUGE dinners, I mean HUGE for a banquet and yet here I was going back for 4th and 5ths for my mom's cheese enchiladas (hey you would too!).  I just go by the Bob method of eating meals, you eat like a king for breakfast, a lord or lady for lunch and a peasant for dinner.  Seriously it has worked.  Since I have done this I really did see my body change and I felt better.  I am proud to report that finally this year, I have actually been losing weight!  I am down two dress sizes, yes count them two.  I was in denial in how big I had gotten since December of 2010 that I was wearing clothes one size too small but I now realized yeah I was pushing the limit of the seams in my clothes.  I am keeping up with this and I am not giving up.  I know she hates it when people say this but my good friend Ouiser has gone down 2 dress sizes too and we both have been encouraging each other, she had been fed up too but I am proud of her.  I know I am going to keep up with this, not only because I found a dress at Anthropologie that I want to wear (actually that is a big motivator!) but also because I don't want a lifetime of illness affecting me in the future.

Dear Diary I normally hate The View

Okay quick post go to Hulu or maybe you DVR'd it but Paula Deen is on The View as co-host and they are talking about the obesity epidemic.  I just saw Dr. Oz pull out organs damaged by fat and seriously ya'll I wanted to throw up and run miles around my neighborhood after I saw what my liver and heart probably look like.

I am on The View ya'll don't eat like I did!-Paula Deen

Dear Diary Sketchers are Sketchy

Why did people think these shoes worked?!

So yeah I never bought them but I know some people who did.  I am talking about the Sketchers Shape-Ups, those Frankenstein's monster looking shoes women wore thinking man I hope my butt looks like Pippa Middleton's in 3-6 months.  I never believed that claim; it's like the infomercials about a miracle pill that will help you lose weight and then shown in tiny letters and the announcer reads at a rapid pace, "Works only if you also diet and exercise."  Oh you don't say.  Yeah I remember when my dad tried metabolife but his doctor was like yeah no, you have a heart condition.  Eventually my dad lost weight on his own no miracle drug or butt shaping shoes included.  So yeah I am going that route the Roel Method, he walked everyday and cut back on how much ate and monitored what he ate.  I am not going to name names but I know friends who bought shoes like this, not only Sketchers but Reebok had them too.  Well looks like both had to pay big ol fines to the FTC for lying about results you will get with the shoes.  I just think it is hilarious and sad how people take advantage of others so easily because of their desperation to attain something or in my case lose something.  Yeah fatties will do anything to lose weight as long as we get to keep eating our McDonalds too.  The United States is getting to be a Fatty Mcbutterpants Nation.  Companies will try anything to sell their product.  I wonder if Shape-Ups were a mistake.  I can see it now:

Dear Diary Mental Health is Just as Important as Physical Health

Aha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And other Aha Moments.  So I want to be honest and open with my two readers.  We moved to Atlanta seven months ago.  I decided to support my husband and his career because I knew if the roles were reversed he would do the same.  Well it is not easy moving from one city to another.  I have experienced this before when I moved from my hamlet of Kingsville, Texas, where it is famous for that one movie with Matt Dillon and that other movie with Helen Slater, to the metropolis of Houston, Texas, where it is famous for that one movie with Shirley McClain and Debra Winger and that other movie with John Travolta and Debra Winger.  I was eighteen at the time and ready to be free of my parents’ shackles and be independent well as independent as I can be with my parents footing the bills for everything due to me choosing an expensive private university.  I was scared and excited.  I had a hard time the first couple of months but luckily I had family around me in the area.  I could go see cousins, aunts and uncles.  So I never felt alone.   I also made friends due to the fact I lived in the dorms and we were forced to interact with one another.  I made lifelong friends actually and I was glad we were forced to do silly socials in the dorms.  

Dear Diary why is it easier to find naked pictures of Kim Kardashian

then finding information on how to live your life with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).  Seriously there are 5-10% of all women that are affected by this and you can find many articles but you have to really search.  I was correctly diagnosed back in 2008 with PCOS but I should have been diagnosed back in 1996 when I first put on birth control due to irregular periods.  All my gynecologist told me back then was that I was very overweight and that if I lost weight I would have a regular period, problem solved.  Right now I know that was very incorrect information.  So I decided to post my very long post because it gives people insight as to what I am going through and if I help one person who realizes they are not alone with the mood swings, the weight struggle, the infertility and so on then I have done what I set out to do.  So yay to me trying to put something on the internet that doesn't include a Kardashian, oh wait I just mentioned their name, damn here is a damn photo then!

I never watch the show and never will.