| Sex Panther rawrrr |
"Oh I am sad" *stuffs pizza slices in mouth*
"Oh I am angry"*stuffs cupcakes in mouth*
"Oh I am happy!" *stuffs potato chips in mouth*
"Oh I am bored" *stuffs cheese cubes in mouth*
I recently started watching the tv show Girls on HBO, yeah I know I had bad mouthed it but after a couple of episodes it is actually funny. There is an episode where the main character goes back home or should I say the home she grew up in. She was acting out and her mom immediately said "Are you hungry, there is chicken in the fridge." Main character yells at her mom "I am not HUNGRY" Then it immediately cuts to her later that night raiding the fridge (fat man at a buffet style) and I knew how she felt. I laughed so hard at that scene and then I went silent. In my mind I thought "Oh crap I do the same thing when I go home and visit my mom." It never fails I go visit my mom who has a plethora of snacks (not the healthy variety) and I attack them. Seriously those Pringles don't know what hit them because Delena "wrecks shop" on some Pringles. My mom bless her heart she tells me to not give into the temptation because she wants to keep me going on my goal but you know it is hard when you are wired to regress to your old childhood habits and just eat, EAT, EAT, EAT, and EAT! I was talking to one of my dearest friends this weekend and we both realized that how we were raised and our culture really affects our relationship with food. Seriously I don't know how other cultures our with food but I know mine, Tex Mex culture. I am what you would say Hispanic which most Hispanics hate because a) Politicians came up with the name and b) you cannot lump us into one ethnicity because we are many different cultures. Well I am Tex Mex, I am of Mexican descent that is probably 4th or 5th generation Texan.
If you go to Mexico most people are very fit and healthy and tiny. Now if you go to Kingsville, Texas and see Texicans yeah we are FAZAAAAAAAAAAAAT. Some are skinny but most are fat. Hispanics have a high rate of diabetes and heart disease. I, my friend, am not immune from getting said diseases. My maternal grandfather and my father had heart disease and diabetes. My paternal grandmother and my mother had/have diabetes. Worse my maternal grandmother passed away from ovarian cancer. Studies are coming out that being overweight worsens not only the possibility of getting diabetes and heart disease but also the big C, cancer. My paternal grandfather was healthy and was pretty much a vegetarian, he passed away at 85 of leukemia but he was super healthy before that. Back to my point. My friend we will call her Sex Panther, yeah she and I were saying aloud how our family was unhealthy. We recounted how family pushes food on you all the time, that is how we roll us Texicans. Then at the same time they comment on how you are a gorda (tr. fatty) or flaca(tr. skinny). Seriously you are either too fat or too skinny but here eat this pan dulce. I know my mom will read this and get mad or say "Mija did I do that, I don't remember I was too young" Yeah you did mom but that was how you were raised. All my family did that. I was not one of those kids that didn't eat. Hello I normally could put away three plates of carne guisada with rice and beans and a copious amounts of homemade tortillas or pan de campo. Can I get an amen from my fellow Texans that can do this!? Yeah I am not proud but yet I am. I love good Tex Mex food. Hey one positive moving to Atlanta you can't get good Tex Mex and so that temptation is gone. Except now I forced myself to make tortillas from scratch, ha but they are whole wheat ones and damn good.
After this self discovery of my coping mechanisms, I realized I need to do positive things to cope: go for a walk, walk my dog, practice yoga, practice meditation, or my favorite craft and sew! None of those activities involves stuffing my face full of food. Well I am trying these and so far so good. I have also cut down the portion size of our dinners too. Again raised Texican, we had HUGE dinners, I mean HUGE for a banquet and yet here I was going back for 4th and 5ths for my mom's cheese enchiladas (hey you would too!). I just go by the Bob method of eating meals, you eat like a king for breakfast, a lord or lady for lunch and a peasant for dinner. Seriously it has worked. Since I have done this I really did see my body change and I felt better. I am proud to report that finally this year, I have actually been losing weight! I am down two dress sizes, yes count them two. I was in denial in how big I had gotten since December of 2010 that I was wearing clothes one size too small but I now realized yeah I was pushing the limit of the seams in my clothes. I am keeping up with this and I am not giving up. I know she hates it when people say this but my good friend Ouiser has gone down 2 dress sizes too and we both have been encouraging each other, she had been fed up too but I am proud of her. I know I am going to keep up with this, not only because I found a dress at Anthropologie that I want to wear (actually that is a big motivator!) but also because I don't want a lifetime of illness affecting me in the future.
