Dear Diary It Only Took 7 years....

Look at these, makes me want to wear an old timey unitard
 and grow a mustache!

For me to finally give in and do Kettlebells with my husband.  If my sister in law is reading this, she is probably laughing her a** off riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight now!  Now let me take you back (Cue Wayne's World back in time waviness)...Jonathan and I had one of our first Christmas' together and I honestly don't recall what I bought him but I am sure it was awesome.  However, I do remember what he got me....I was there as my husband's family looked upon me as I ripped open his carefully wrapped gift(if you count duct taping a paperbag as carefully wrapped), the anticipation was high and then tada there it was...a kettlebell workout book for Women, in all it's homemade spiral bound glory!  Seriously it looked like it was "published" at Kinko's.  Jonathan's mom and sister looked on in horror after this and yelled at him for getting me this present.  Now anyone who knows my husband knows he meant well because I was saying how I wanted to get into an exercise routine buuuuuuuuuuuut advice to all you newlywed husbandsor boyfriends out there DO NOT GET YOUR WIFE/GIRLFRIEND A WORKOUT BOOK OR DVD FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!  I know intentions are good but just spend your  money on other things like diamonds or more diamonds.  So ever since that fiasco I have resisted jumping on the kettlebell band wagon.  My husband has done it for 7 years and I think he pretty much is the hipster of workouts, he always does things before it becomes popular, hence kettlebells and tire flipping and sledgehammering, yeah he is not normal, nor does he do normal workouts.  So I decided to amp up my workouts because its important to not only do cardio but strength training, its important!  So FINALLY I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Diary "My girl likes to Zumba all the time Zumba all the time..."

You know its good when you wear leather

Zumba all the tiiiime (to the tune of Party all the Time arranged by the genius Rick James sung by Eddie Murphy).  So a long long long long time ago Living Social had a coupon for 20 Zumba classes for $20 bucks I think I don't remember.  Anyways it was CHEAP.  So I thought what the heck I will buy this.  Well I avoided it like the plague, thinking no way this lady here, yeah me, my a** was too fat.  My friend Ouisa aka Celestitude had taken it and said it is a work out and you can't breaf very well.  We both have asthma (side note took a breathing test my lungs breath like 45 year old lungs AWESOME!)  Anyways then I did 2 Insanity workouts count them 2!  Have you done this, well if you are like me and Obese and Sedentary DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!  If you are like Jonathan who is overweight but can work out like a mad man by all means do it.  Seriously Shaun T can kiss my Big Mexican A**.  I knew I was in for something when the stick thin athletic girl was barely stumbling through the end of the workout DVD and she was as thin as a straw with maybe some boobs.  Seriously she fell flat on the ground and was like NO MORE SHAUN T and I am like WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Anyways so that made me think I am avoiding Zumba because its fast pace dancing and Insanity is fast pace cardio workouts and I was dying.  I was sure Jonathan would need a defibrillator to zap me back from the dead. ***Cue dramatic ER sequence and my John Dorian daydreaming  "CLEAR" Kachunk "CLEAR" Kachunk " We are not losing you on my watch Damn You, quick wave the cheese cake in her face"
Well on my mom's birthday besides the Facebooking my cousin Joey Jay was talking how she lost 10 lbs because her work is doing Biggest Loser Contest.  She realized she had to do it because our family is diabeetus central.  My mom was diagnosed at 38, that is less then 7 years away for yours truly.  So I realized okay yeah I am already pre-diabeetus and this is no bueno.  Joey Jay told me her secret was eating right, walking and ZUMBA!!!!!!  I thought whoa hold up really.  She said yup.  She loves it!  Well after my cleanse of Facebook and TV I realized maybe I should be doing something with my free time.  So 2 weeks ago I finally did it.

Dear Diary We're Walking We're Walking....

As some of you know I did a 5k this weekend, well I am putting up some pics from the event and I will post a story to go along with these pictures soon.  Here are some pics of my adventures walking the Conoco Philips Rodeo Run 5k:

Can you see my double chin oh yeah and my number

It's the start of something new in my life (eeh cheesy right!)

Dear Diary I need a young priest and an old priest

My dearest oldest friend, Ouiser (pronounced Weeza for those who have never seen Steel Magnolias which you should!!! and out of respect no real names will be used) pointed out that on my first post I misspelled exercise and put exorcise and she said it’s like you are exorcising the pounds away like demons.  I think in the back of my mind I meant to do that because seriously fat is like a demon that just sucks your will to live.  I mean come on how many of you have gone on Linda Blair rages when you can’t find any ice cream in your freezer and you start spouting out Latin and turning your head around 360.  I know I have, ask Jonathan.  Seriously I do equate exercising with exorcising because face it, it ain’t pretty, it’s hard, it hurts and in the end we are all covered in pea soup.  Seriously have you watched Biggest Loser all those people just throw up every time they finish working out.  Also our body contorts in ways it shouldn’t and there is a lot of screaming and sweating as Ouiser pointed out.  I don’t know why but I hear in my head a southern preacher saying “We must EXORCISE the fat” or Reverend Brown from Coming to America saying, “If loving to eat is WRRRONG, I don’t wanna be right.” Well hey its true man I love to eat and I hate to EXORCISE!!! But in the end we need to get rid of the fat/demon but I hope when I lose weight my fat doesn’t leap onto someone else ala Exorcist (Spoiler Alert demon leaps into young priest and then he gets killed).  Exercising is good for your mind and your body.  I just need to motivate myself to do it.  Luckily I found a deal online 20 classes for 20 bucks to Zumba.  I am going to do it!!!  I asked Jonathan to join me but he passed.   Surprise Surprise.  Though I do find when I have buddies to work out with I do make myself exercise more.  When it’s just me, man I am good at talking myself out of it:

Me: Delena you need to go for a walk

Me:  You are right I do

Me: Well are you?

Me:  Meh its cold outside and I have hot chocolate being brewed in my Keurig and I am already in my PJs

Me: You are right let’s just sit on the couch and see what Rachel Ray is making, oh guess what cabbage stoup again with a side of grilled cheese sammies! (she always makes this crap I kid you not 9 times out of 10 it’s a stoup and sammies combo ugh) More after the jump.....