Dear Diary Farmers Markets are...AWESOME

Okay this was in San Francisco not Atlanta but still!

But I am too poor to enjoy them all the time!  The other day I was driving around exploring my new adopted city.   I saw a sign that said Green Market.  It was a farmer’s market that was located at Piedmont Park.  So after circling around like National Lampoon’s European Vacation when they were stuck in the roundabout and kept seeing Big Ben, I finally found a parking space.   The Farmer’s Market was so nice with its fresh vegetables and fruits and hydroponics…no dudes not that kind of Dro.  Yeah they had so much to choose from.  This is the best way to support your local city by purchasing local produce and even meats.  But we know the problem, it’s SO DARN EXPENSIVE!!!!!!!!!  Is it really though in the long run?  Look at those TOMATOES...

Dear Diary I wanna be a billionaire....

So I was re-reading my blog entries (yes I am that vain) and noticed man all I do is complain and but never put my money where my mouth is figuratively speaking.  Well no more.  I heard of this book the Secret and apparently if you think it, it will happen.  I will be a size six (bwuahhahahhaha) okay seriously I think that all the time as I stuff cake balls down my gullet.  But seriously I wrote down some goals to help me be healthier and happier.  So here goes...

1. Be a billionaire like Oprah (do I really need a hyperlink for HER) and maybe Nate Berkus will design my castle oh and of course get on Oprah's network some how with my reality show.  

2. Make more meals at home that way I can make sure what I eat is healthy.  Somehow I don't believe restaurants when they say those vegetables are healthy and they are smothered in garlic butter, seriously.

3. Exorcise more and make it fun for me (Dahnya and Joey (the Zumba Queen) you guys inspire me!)

4. Whittle down my addiction to junk food full of so much preservatives that I can pretty much mummify myself.

5.  Be an internet viral that will end up on Tosh.0 and he will make me do a web redemption, okay never mind on that because I normally laugh at those a**holes.

6.Lower my intake of sugars of all kind.  Yeah I am a sugar addict not just desserts but breads.  If I had my way my meals would consist of fried foods, rolls and pecan pies.  Dang pecan pie with a side of Bluebell okay back to my goals.

7. Oh and to get sponsors to notice my blog so I can get free stuff, I use weight watchers!  I love Iphones!  I love Money (do you know if the US Treasury needs a spokesperson).

I really want goal number 1 to happen I am working on something, if Bethany Frankel can be a millionaire for a sh**ty skinny margarita, I can make BILLIONS selling poop too.  Seriously I am going to stick to these.  I am tired of excuses.  I have PCOS.  I want people to be aware that many women have it and the sad thing is you can control it with some medicines, exercise and healthy eating. If left untreated it causes infertility, diabetes, heart disease...the list goes on.  So this B is going to be healthy.  DELENA OUT!

Wait Wait Wait I forgot to change my number one goal to this:

Dear Diary I am moving on up to the east side...

This is how they do it in the Durty South

Well, my friends of Tejas, isn't that redundant since Tejas means friends, anyways, my friends I have left the Lone Star State.  Yes you read right.  I moved my Fatty McButterpants to a place we call Hotlanta.  Good ol ATL, in Georgia.  Jonathan got a job back in November of 2010 and they told him that they are moving to the "durty" south, where Ludacris was born.  I was not for it at first but then thanks to an old co-worker whose lack of self worth reminded me that I can do whatever I want and not be stuck in a rut at a job I didn't enjoy.  So I said let's do this and now here we are.  Getting to Atlanta was not easy.  We have to sell a house, find a place, find a job (a good one this time) and this time not try to fall through the crust of the earth.

Yeah I was eating like a fat man in a rib eating contest.  I couldn't stop because of stress.  STRESS IS BAD.  But I can also decide on whether or not to let it consume me or just let it go.Well I am just realizing that my stress=eating everything around me.  All I do is eat and drink.  Remember when I decided to give up alcohol, (hohohoheeehehehahahahaha, still laughing on that one).  I immediately went to drinking when we put our house up for sale.  It is freaking stressful and you gotta CLEAN YOUR HOUSE, what what.

Dear Diary Do I wanna be super fat?

You know the pictures of morbidly obese people, yeah they tend to scare me.  I need to lose weight seriously.  I will reiterate once again someone with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) has a higher chance of getting diabeetus and/or heart disease.  Well, my mother has diabeetus and my father had heart disease.  Yeah so chances are I will be getting those if I don't lose this weight.  I went to my Reproductive Endocrinologist last week and my results for my insulin and blood sugar were great but he said to watch what I eat and exercise at least 30 minutes a day.  Sounds easy right.  Wrong, I love food and I love Netflix Watch Instantly.  (Curses Mad Men why are you so good!)  Well I asked my husband last night what can I do to keep me motivated.  Here is what he said:

"My plan is to keep a picture of a super fat person in my wallet so that way when I am about to eat I can look at it and then look at my food and maybe not want to eat as much"

Wow thanks oh great sage of weight loss you are a real Bob Harper.

Yeah so I googled pics of "super fat" people and wow.  It's not pretty and it is sad seeing how bad some people get.  I don't want to be that way.  Maybe that will work for Jonathan but it will just depress me looking at fat people ahem fatter people then me.  So what are you ideas to keep you motivated to lose weight?  Hopefully its better then this:

Although it looks like my butt its not...or is it?

Dear Diary Facebook part Deux....(and other updates)

This was me happy in San Antone before the fall :(

Well I have not been here in a while as you guys know I am moving soon to Hotlanta!  Yeah we are still trying to sell our beautiful house.  A lovely 1927 Craftsman home with everything updated!  Enough of me selling my house.  So here goes crap that happened to me while funemployed...

Had a yard sale and at said yard sale I injured my hip.  I mistakenly thought it would be okay for me to cross over my dog's pet gate (its like a baby gate for dogs) and tada pulled a muscle.

Then had a fun Fourth of July aka Independence Day but the day after I slipped on some stairs and fell on my back and big ol Butt.  Yeah I had some sweet bruises.  (Side note I think the nurse who checked my vitals was thisclose to calling a women's shelter but that's another story)

Dear Diary I is poor now but this B still gotta eat,

So I am underemployed and I still have nightmares about my old job.  Another blog, another post.  Well I am calling on you my blog followers to give me ideas for recipes on the cheap.  I got some from friends via Google+ (which I love!)and Facebook but need some more ideas or websites.  You gotta help or else I will have to resort  to Jonathan for an idea and well left up to his own devices you get these artery cloggers on a plate:

I feel the heart disease starting now just staring at these

Dear Diary Buffalo Exchange and Yard Sales can SUCK it....(updates)

Mexican not included

Hey there, ho there its summer, summer time (insert Will Smith dance).  Many of you know that I am now unemployed, underemployed, funemployed, etc.  You get the gist.  Well I am still trying to lose weight.  I lose, I gain, I lose, I gain...its like the economy, recession, recovery, recession, recovery.  So yeah it sucks.  Well I need money and I need to get rid of crap.  That always equals YARD SALE!!!!!!!!!!!!  Which by the way suck to put together in the dead of heat and you are dying outside while your husband is comfortably sitting at his desk in his turbo Air Conditioned office building.  Anyways we sold stuff, my favorite customer of the day....Old Mexican man who bought random items and paid us in five dollars worth of dimes!  Yeah he bought my mariachi hat, my mom's velvet tiger painting, eagle bookends, and a scary clown figurine.   Why, Why, Why?  I mean I understand the mariachi hat and velvet tiger painting because WHO DOESN'T NEED THAT! We sold crap and boy did people buy it.  Whatever we didn't sell we donated.  We are trying to downsize our stuff.  (But that's another blog post).  The only thing I didn't donate were these really cute shoes that I stupidly thought Buffalo Exchange would buy.  They are cute...