Dear Diary So Guess Who Has Two Thumbs and Has HIGH Inflammation...

This lady!  I really fell off the wagon after my daughter's birth.  She was born three weeks early and well you are never prepared even if you think you are prepared you are not when you have your first child.  So strike one.  My husband was commuting from Atlanta to Chicago and so he only came on weekends.  Strike two.  Also we were in the middle of moving to Chicago but waiting until after my daughter's first vaccination (Yes I do vaccinate my baby and please do not go all Jenny McCarthy on me okay, Autism is a serious condition that is something that cannot be attributed to one thing and it is a serious disservice to parents of autistic children to simplify it in the manner that crazy lady does, okay I am done.)  Strike three!  And food was my savior.  What can I say food is always there for me and never hurts me or so I thought.

Fast Forward to December and my appointment with an internal medicine doctor who specializes in women's health.  She asked me so many questions I mean seriously I felt like I was there for hours, oh wait I was for two hours!  She was very thorough.  She was concerned about my health and I was too after recounting how unhealthy my habits were/are.  Seriously is it wrong that I love to just eat bread all the time.  Well Dr. McHealthypants thinks so.  She made me take blood tests.  They drew out enough blood for nine vials, NINE VIALS!  Yeah so they went over the results about a month later...Here is how it went
Ring Ring
Me:Hello
Nurse Lady: Yes Ms. Martello?
Me: Yes
Nurse Lady:  We have the results of your blood work and Dr. McHealthypants wants me to go over the results with you
Me: Okay (Turtle crying in the background, oh wait no she is just screaming at the dog)
Nurse Lady:  Okay your blah blah blah (me zoning out because I have no idea what some of these things are I got tested for NO FREAKING CLUE)
Me: ugh hum ugh hum ugh hum (Turtle screaming louder because she loves to scream and at this time she realized hey I can make noises come out of my mouth!)
Nurse Lady:  Okay here are some concerns your vitamin D levels are very  very low, your level is a 2 and it should be at a bajillion (I am guestimating here because I don't exactly remember what I was but it was suuuper low and I felt like normal people were at a bajillion)  Then your inflammation is very high, your level was a kabillion and normal is below 10 (again guestimating because I would have to dig up my results and I am lazy but it felt like that was what she told me).  Also your glucose level was borderline.  (Surprise Surprise seeing I had gestational diabetes and there is a high chance I will become diabetic sooner rather then later which is a suck)
Me: Oh wow really (thinking damn maybe all those slices of pizza and eating wings has not been helping)
Nurse Lady:  So you need to do this and this (Don't worry I really did listen but for blog posting purposes won't go into detail)
Me:  Thank you so much Nurse Lady I will do that.
And then I proceeded to gain 15 lbs. Boom look at me getting healthy.  So yeah you would think I would get serious about getting healthy but things happen.  Oh I don't know having experienced the worst winter ever in Chicago.  I know you would think I was exaggerating since I was born and raised in Tejas but no ma'am!  I am not exaggerating because even Chicagoans (aka the natives) said it was the worst winter they had seen in decades or ever.  Yeah you know what year the last winter before this one was just as horrible as this one, 1977!  Yeah seriously.  You do not want to move when it is negative 16 outside with a windchill of negative forty degrees.  I am not lying.

Oh and then you have to be at home all day with a baby and a very mean dog, that takes a toll when you can't really go outside.  So you eat your feelings.  Come on ladies (even dudes) you feel me on this one.  My inner Liz Lemon told me to go talk to some food about a bunch of things.  Mmmmm food. (Homer Simpson Voice)
Oh yeah back to Dr. McHealthypants.  She wanted me to buy into this quick weight loss program where you drink seaweed shakes for breakfast lunch and dinner with tiny tiny snacks.  I was like uughm WHAT.  Then I saw how much money it was a month, money I don't have because I am not a fancy doctor in downtown Chicago.  Seriously it made me think was she just trying to peddle me some weight loss program since she gets a cut by making me feel bad about myself.  No because I am unhealthy.  I am obese and my blood test indicated I am unhealthy.  However I didn't want to be bullied into trying this program because yeah maybe I will lose a bunch of weight but then once I eat real food I will balloon again.  I need to retrain myself on  how to eat food and portion control.  So she suggested Low Glycemic and yes this one I have done and it does work.  That's how I lost thirty-five pounds and got a regular period and got pregnant with Turtle naturally (yeah got impregnated the old fashion way, girl gets drunk and made love with boy on her birthday on a cloud at the end of a rainbow-sorry mom if you are reading this- girl gets knocked up).  I got excited and then she told me more devastating news.  NO GLUTEN!  Which includes not just wheat but all grains, ALL GRAINS!  I mean no rice, doesn't she know I am Mexican RICE IS A STAPLE!  Arroz con pollo, Arroz, Horchata (made with Arroz!) Frijoles y Arroz...I could go on.  I tried to do this for two days it was terrible.  I will post that later.
I decided to try to be healthy the way I know how, portion control and no processed foods but first let me eat this bagel with schmear and this donut.  Okay yeah I was not perfect at all.  Then I decided not to beat myself up and decided to just start over again if I fail.  More power to those people who do paleo.  I tried for two days and failed.  I never wanted bread so much before in my life!  But I am trying again people, trying to get back on the wagon.  I will be sharing recipes that worked and even those that suck.  I will be sharing what workout programs work for me, maybe Jillian Michaels MAYBE, she is tough though.

Wish me luck folks, I don't want to have my legs amputated at 60.  I am not joking, happened to my great uncle.  Now I am off to pinterest to pin some recipes and some workout routines.