Dear Diary bathing suits will not make me feel bad anymore!

Sandcastles in the sand- Robin Sparkles

Warning this post is going to be semi-serious with a dash of (insert any women's talk show).  I went to the beach this week.  I had to wear a bathing suit *GASP*.  I have loathed wearing one since I saw my first dimple of cellulite, yeah I got it so what?!  Then something happened, I don't know if it is because I am 30 plus or what.  I was like who cares how I look in my tankini it is hot outside and I need to wear the proper attire to take a plunge into that large salty watering hole that some call the Atlantic Ocean.  I didn't care and I was okay with it.  I am overweight, I am fat.  I will own that word.  I have cellulite, I got grandma bat arms, I have double (sometimes triple) chins, and I have stacked tire belly syndrome (aka the Michelin Man).  I am me.  I love me.  All of me, the fat me, the emotional me, the crazy me, the silly me, the hilarious me, the angry me, the defeated me, and I could go on...Wait now I remember how this all started!!!

A dear dear cousin of mine emailed me a link to a lecture about Vulnerability (capitalized the word for emphasis people!).  I found the lecture entertaining and enlightening all at the same time.  All it was, was a woman on a stage with her power point slides.  No frills, no explosions, no fancy robot dragons or horrible rock bands playing in the back ground.  It was just Brene Brown, PhD, a University of Houston professor, speaking about her qualitative research about why certain people are courageous and fearless and others are not.  I don't want to ruin the lecture for you because I have the video posted for you.  In fact I am going to post two videos.  The other one is about listening to shame.  She is brilliant and insightful.  Her words spoke to me and yes I know I sound very cliche like a  person who wrote a blurb that is printed on the back of an Airport Bestseller Book!  I know!  Hey but this is how I feel.  I feel like in order to be a better person you have to not only love all of yourself but you have to feel all the your emotions.  We live in a society where you have to numb yourself to the pain or else you will be considered a pansy or that crazy woman who can't seem to stop crying!  That is not true sometimes you have to let yourself feel it in order to move forward and be stronger.   Anyways watch these videos and tell me how they struck you whether it was meh she is just another self help guru like that really really really tall guy (Tony Robbins by the way and did you see he got people to walk on hot coals and they did it!!!!) or wow she is awesome and she made me realize things about myself.

Vulnerability!

Listening to Shame Y'all

Update NOW VIDEO WITH ROBIN SPARKLES!!!!! Because it is an awesome song!