Dear Diary When did I Become a Dirty Hippy

I am back after a mini vacation to Houston, Texas, where there are plenty of restaurants and obese people (the effect of having a multitude of restaurants).  Every time I go to Houston I come back a little wiser and a little fatter.  I started off my trip with a SECOND dinner at Mai's and ate too much tofu.  You are probably thinking tofu is not so bad, yes it is when it is deep fried and then is stir fried in butter with garlic.  Then to top it off I had a cosmopolitan, the drink that Carrie Bradshaw made famous.  Did I log in my points? Noooooooooooooooooooo.  I just ate and imbibed on alcohol.  Also it is hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle when you come to your mom's house and the pantry is loaded with this:

Look at Mr. Pringles he is staring at me saying you know you want this!

Yeah don't worry I did not eat any of that "food" pictured above.  So fast forward to the next day and I visit my friend.  We both have PCOS.  See y'all it is more common then you think.  As I talk to her it hits home how I cannot treat my body like a trashcan that you can dump anything in it and in the end I can take myself to the car wash and give myself a good cleaning and I will be okay thanks to bleach!  No I am not a receptacle!  I have a body to take care of.  Plus I am pretty sure if I down some bleach I will need poison control.  Yeah she had a healthy meal of sprouted lentil salad with hummus and veggies.  Now if you had presented me with that meal 15 years ago I would have tossed it into the trashcan but oh what a healthy trashcan it would be!  However, now I think dang that looks good and I bet I won't feel like a pile of garbage after I eat it.  (How does garbage feel by the way? I bet it feels trashy. hahahaha Hey I like my bad jokes.)  Yeah so my trip to Houston after this healthy day was craptastic.  I proceeded to eat horribly and drink too much.  I felt like I was in a haze and didn't feel well.  Seriously I am so sensitive to eating too much refined sugar my body becomes nauseous.  I love sugars but they don't love me.  My mother-in-law made Paula Deen's Red Velvet Cupcakes for my sister-in-law's engagement party, OH MY LANTA THEY WERE AWESOME.  Though my stomach disagrees.  My stomach was like "B**ch I know you ain't going to put that pile of sugar frosted with fatty sugars in your body, oh I will show you and twist myself into knots"  In my head my stomach sounds like Wanda Sykes because she is awesome.  My taste buds loved it "dude yeah those were so FREAKIN AWESOME SAUCE!" Think of those taste buds in the fiber one commercial because that is how they should sound!  Yeah but again I am not a trashcan I cannot just dump crap in my body and not feel the repercussions.

Except Whataburger yeah I don't mind throwing this down my gullet.

So I came home to Hotlanta, which it was not hot when I landed it was a cool 71 degrees, oh yeah JEALOUS H-town!  I sat down the next day and planned 5 meals for us.  I also planned on eating a vegetarian lunch of you guessed it sprouted lentil salad.  I am sprouting my own lentils y'all!  I even bought Trader Joe's Coconut Oil!  Oh yeah also random, almost forgot this, my friend and I made a healthier awesome version of peanut butter cups (don't worry I will post the recipe).  They were so good.  Which brings me as to why I got coconut oil.  I got the dang oil because that recipe calls for it.  Oh lord I made fun of it for so long and now I am using it!  What is next for this hippy, growing my own hemp to weave my sandals!  Okay well I just wanted to give you this tidbit of what is going on with my life.  The next post will include some hippy healthy recipes and to show you healthy food does not have to be tasteless and boring.  Welp I am done and now back to making my own deodorant with avocado oil, lavender and hemp seed with a dash of patchouli (I kid I am not making my own deodorant...yet)

Yeah I got it so what?!

Mmmm it is as good as it looks