Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Dear Diary Gastric Bypasses and Kenny Rogers

'Scuse me I wanted a piece....
So last week at work was a co-workers birthday.  She had German chocolate cake, I couldn't resist.  And what better way to celebrate said birthday then eating cake and talking about Gastric Bypasses and Stomach Stapling.  ....( yeah insert colon slash emoticon face here) :/

Well as we all gathered around passing the cake ala Office Space, but unlike Milton I did get a piece(a small piece), Old Man Magoo (semi retired co-worker who is 175 years old that still comes into work despite being on death's door) commented that the Owner of the company better eat this cake while he can before his surgery.  Well that perked up everyone's ears...Surgery.  Well let me preface by saying the Owner, looks like Santie Claus, yeah he really does big ol belly and rosy red cheeks with a white beard.  I will call him Santie Claus for the remainder of this blog entry. So Santie Claus told us that he is thinking about doing gastric bypass surgery which used to be known as stomach stapling, to which I said didn't Kenny Rogers get that done (really what hasn't Kenny Rogers had done, he is a poster child for why not to do plastic surgery along with Joan Rivers).  Well apparently like Kenny, Santie knew when to fold them and decided to go the surgical route to lose weight.  He has struggled with his weight for years and thinks this is only his option.  Now as we are eating our cake he describes in detail what they will do to his stomach and yeah I wanted to throw up the cake and do some push ups right then and there.  Now here is the funny part though the surgery won't be covered by insurance unless he follows a nutrition plan for six months and loses weight first, seriously laughed out loud on that one because in my little head I was thinking okay if he could do that in the first place why would he be doing the surgery.  But then my boss quickly retorted the insurance sees this as like giving an alcoholic a new liver they want to make sure this works for you and you can stick to losing weight after the surgery, man that is so true.  They gotta make sure fatties lose the weight and keep it off since they are paying big bucks to sew up your stomach to the size of your thumb yeah seriously.  No wonder Star Jones drank her meals in shot glasses.  I know people are desperate to lose weight but why drastic surgery?  Are you that addicted to Whataburger and McDonalds that you would rather spend thousands on surgery then to give up those foods and eat better and exercise?  Santie Claus said this is his only viable option because what else can he do and of course the ass hat I am I responded in my smart tone "Diet and Exercise"



Yeah I know sensitive remark from someone who also struggles with weight loss butttttttttttt its true.  We all like to think we can eat crap and never gain weight like some people.  Nope not me my genetics is not made that way.  I eat crap I gain weight.  I would rather change my eating habits and be more active then resort to surgery.  I have friends who struggle with this too, its hard to change what you eat when you are used to fast food because its cheap and easy.  Yeah but that cheap food can contribute to lasting health problems that become expensive when you need medications and surgery.  Exhibit A my whole family is diabetic and/or have heart disease and we love us some Whataburger and Tex Mex.  Yeah so this past week I stepped up my eating habits and NO MORE ALCOHOL.  You read right.  (I will have a blog post on that later.)  So this lady is minding her Ps and Qs of what foods she is eating and continuing with her Zumba all the time.  My question to you guys is would you ever give up on being healthy and just resort to surgery?  Right now I am an affirmative no, now pass me some cake....


3 comments:

Marivel said...

No alcohol. Ummmm....couldn't you just say "No alcohol during the week"? I mean really....what are we supposed to do on girls weekends? I think we need to do a girls weekend before that comment goes into effect.

Delena said...

Yes I am serious no alcohol. I need to lose weight and alcohol is my downfall to overeating. Yeah you know what I crave when I drink to much WHATABURGER. Yeah no bueno. I can have fun still but i will be the designated driver while you guys drink.

Dahnya said...

What? No pale ale at the Tall Texan? So much for the beer festival? Fine. Let's take the boys berry picking! I'm trying to get Fran to go but so far it's a no-go. Maybe if your hubs comes, he'd be convinced!