Friday, September 2, 2011

Dear Diary I wanna be a billionaire....

So I was re-reading my blog entries (yes I am that vain) and noticed man all I do is complain and but never put my money where my mouth is figuratively speaking.  Well no more.  I heard of this book the Secret and apparently if you think it, it will happen.  I will be a size six (bwuahhahahhaha) okay seriously I think that all the time as I stuff cake balls down my gullet.  But seriously I wrote down some goals to help me be healthier and happier.  So here goes...
1. Be a billionaire like Oprah (do I really need a hyperlink for HER) and maybe Nate Berkus will design my castle oh and of course get on Oprah's network some how with my reality show.  
2. Make more meals at home that way I can make sure what I eat is healthy.  Somehow I don't believe restaurants when they say those vegetables are healthy and they are smothered in garlic butter, seriously.
3. Exorcise more and make it fun for me (Dahnya and Joey (the Zumba Queen) you guys inspire me!)
4. Whittle down my addiction to junk food full of so much preservatives that I can pretty much mummify myself.
5.  Be an internet viral that will end up on Tosh.0 and he will make me do a web redemption, okay never mind on that because I normally laugh at those a**holes.
6.Lower my intake of sugars of all kind.  Yeah I am a sugar addict not just desserts but breads.  If I had my way my meals would consist of fried foods, rolls and pecan pies.  Dang pecan pie with a side of Bluebell okay back to my goals.
7. Oh and to get sponsors to notice my blog so I can get free stuff, I use weight watchers!  I love Iphones!  I love Money (do you know if the US Treasury needs a spokesperson).

I really want goal number 1 to happen I am working on something, if Bethany Frankel can be a millionaire for a sh**ty skinny margarita, I can make BILLIONS selling poop too.  Seriously I am going to stick to these.  I am tired of excuses.  I have PCOS.  I want people to be aware that many women have it and the sad thing is you can control it with some medicines, exercise and healthy eating. If left untreated it causes infertility, diabetes, heart disease...the list goes on.  So this B is going to be healthy.  DELENA OUT!

Wait Wait Wait I forgot to change my number one goal to this:

TO MEET PAULA DEEN YA'LL



4 comments:

Control Complex said...

I approve of this goal list. Your blog is funny. It is actually the only one I read regularly.. I want mucho mas pictures of Ludacris licking ladies and BBQ though. Also try to use the phrase "Dirtah Dirtah" more.

Carol said...

good goals, and by writing them down you'll hold yourself accountable....i was rereading some of my entriees looking for recipes and realized #2 was a new year's resolution for me a couple of years ago (and something I still need to work on!)

are you able to cook in the extended stay?

Delena said...

Yay Beth I try to be entertaining, I mean you guys don't need to know every mundane thing I do. Carol that's why got an extended stay so we can cook and it was HILARIOUS. Jonathan heated up the pan too hot that when he put the chicken breast on the pan SMOKE EVERY WHERE in our little hotel room! Hopefully tonight will be better.

Dahnya said...

Paula Deen: I will begin research to try and help you reach this goal!!

Maybe by the time Fran & I have money and can make it to Hotlanta, you and her will become best gal pals to whip us up some of her amazingly fatty mac & cheese.

Damn. Why did I have to think of that!?